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Because You Asked (2)

These are my answers to questions sent in by Aspire To Wisdom subscribers. I hope you benefit from them too.

Lavon asks:

My question is simple. I have found that I have the ability to manifest people in my life. On various occasions, if I in fact focus on someone that I have not seen in a while or want to see, usually within a day or two, I will either run into that person or see them somewhere in my neighborhood. My dilemma is that I would love to be able to do this in the area of finances. What am I doing in one area that I am not doing in another?

It could be a number of things. For most people, finances is a
big issue and a big problem, not merely consciously but also
subconsciously. A huge amount of it has to do with beliefs about
money that you have either acquired through you own experiences,
or those put into you unknowingly by your own parents.

Hence, you may be able to attract people because, to you, this
is easy and natural. It’s no major commitment of belief. It’s
within your paradigm of the way the world really works.

However, for you to attract money, this may be outside your paradigm of the way things are. Perhaps, for you, this is still in the realm of the impossible.

You may wish to tackle this in a number of ways. Examine your beliefs about money, and the beliefs of your parents. Do these
beliefs support the idea that you can attract money, and plenty
of it, without hard work? If not, it’s unlikely you’ll do so.

Hence, you’ll need to change your beliefs. And to learn how to do so, you can check out some of the people I’ve been recommending in this ezine and elsewhere.

You might also want to start out slowly at first. Instead of
trying to attract a big salary, a huge windfall, or a lottery win, how about trying to attract $10, or even just $1? Create the belief that you can attract money, make it your reality, and then increase the stake. That might be a good way to build up your financial belief muscles.
Overall though, the very fact that you KNOW that the laws of manifestation are real, from your own personal experience, is a GOOD thing. Most people don’t even know that. Now, all you have to do is transfer the level of belief and confidence you have about it in one life arena to a completely different one.
In the former case, there are no inhibitions or blockages. In the latter, there are. Simply work to remove those limiting blocking beliefs and you’ll be able to maniftest riches too.

Lima Nor asks:

Life struggles at work. New responsibilities, new old enemies [no
previous experience of bad relationships]. That’s why I’m so
confused about that. Don’t know what to do. I tried every
peaceful way with those employees, and yet still they’re hostile
to me. I ask you why, and what to do? My reaction, how it should

Well, it’s hard to know the specifics of your work situation, of
course. However, there are certain factors in common in such
situations, and hence questions you might ask yourself, and
things you might do.

For a start, do YOU have any idea what the problem is? If not,
the next time you get harassed by someone, you might just ask
them point blank, “Why are you treating me like this?”, and try
and get them to tell the truth about it.

It could be anything, but only if you can pin it down, do you
have any hope of making things right. Often, we tend to avoid the
issue, and put our head down and carry on working, hoping that it
will all work out and improve in the end. Usually, the opposite

Hence, it’s usually best to be a bit courageous and confront
them, but in a good way. Just ask them what the problem is, and
why they treat you in this way? What is it they don’t like? What
can be done to resolve the matter?

If they won’t listen, then the next step is to have a private
talk with your/their manager, and see what feedback you get. It
might be something you’re doing at work that you are unaware of.
It might be a touch of racism. Frankly, it might be anything at
all. Often, the last person to know is the person getting the

In one working situation, there was a person there with an offensive odor. It was actually quite strong. Nobody would say it directly to him, but they all talked about it among themselves. Now, this might have been easily resolved by management with one friendly conversation. But it wasn’t. And so the matter just got worse.

Frankly, until you find out WHY, there is little to be done to improve the situation. Discuss the matter with those causing you the problem. If they don’t respond, take it to the boss. If he/she ignores it, take it to the personnel department, if there is one. If you get no satisfaction, and life for you is getting unbearable, you might have to consider getting another job elsewhere.

However, here is another perspective to also work with. Focus on
what you WANT, not what you DON’T want. You always get more of what you focus on. So, right now your mind asks questions about
the present situation, why it is so bad etc., and hence reinforces its existence. Start to imagine your working life as you would like it to be. See, in your mind eye, those now tormenting you as being friendly to you. See things exactly as you would like them to be. Do this visualization several times a day.

Also, start to act towards those colleagues FIRST as though they
are already the people you want them to be. Act as if all is
well, and do YOUR part to be the best person you can be. Smile
and be pleasant. Drop whatever defensiveness, negativity, and
fear you may have allowed to enter your attitude. It can be very
disarming to behave like this. Gradually, their resistance will
break down, if you maintain a positive attitude, and your
situation will improve.

Granted, this may not be as easy as it sounds. But it can and
will work for anyone who is willing to try it. If you view external life as a mirror of what is going on inside you, you may cease to ask “What’s wrong with THEM?” and ask yourself “Why am I creating this nightmare? What are they trying to teach me?”

In that way, you may actually gain some valuable personal growth insights out of the situation.

I hope all this helps. I have tried to give you a traditional and also a non-traditional approach to the matter. I would suggest a suitable combination of both. I hope it helps.

Akashi asks:

How to remove fear. Let me know all possible tips/methods to
remove fear from life?

Well, I think entire books have been written on this subject, so
I can’t give you ALL methods in the restricted space here. But I
hope I can give you some useful suggestions.

Fear has been described as F-E-A-R: False Expectations Appearing

That is exactly the case. When you fear, you project your imagination into some point in the future, or even onto some present situation or person, and you expect and worry about negative consequences.

It’s not necessarily the truth about the situation/person/future.
It’s your negative expectation of it.

One thing you can do is ask yourself, (1) Is it true?, (2) Can you ABSOLUTELY know it is true?, (3) What might be a better expectation or belief that would serve you better?

Much of the time, when you subject a simpler type of fear to this
type of inquiry, it will just go away in the light of reason.

Another thing you can do is to ask yourself, what if my fear came
true? What if I … lost all my money and my home?…. got cancer?… asked my boss for a pay rise and got refused?… asked that girl out on a date and she laughed in my face… tried to sing on stage and my voice cracked… started a new business and it failed and I lost my money? Or whatever.

Ask yourself… would it really be all that bad? You might
instantly respond, “YES! Sure it would!”

Maybe. But ponder it seriously. Take a look around at people to
whom your fear HAS happened, and see if it was the end for them.
In most cases, it was not. They’re still alive and doing fine.

A lot of people fear bankruptcy and homelessness. Yet, for many
to whom it actually happened, it turned out not to be nearly as
bad as they imagined. They grew stronger as a result.

So, you might want to delve in and really imagine the worst
possible scenario. Then ask yourself, if this is the absolute
worse, can I survive it? If the answer is yes, then be happy
about that. Also, start to put things into place NOW so that it
never does happen anyway. That way, your fear will evaporate, and
you can act from a position of more confidence.

Another way to deal with fear is through meditation. There is an
excellent book that can help called The Healing Power Of Mind, by
Thulku Thondup. This is full of specific meditations for dealing
with all kinds of fears. A lot of fears have to do with internal
psychic dysfunctions. As you work gently with yourself through
meditation, your dysfunctions will gradually unravel over time.

In any case, regular meditation promotes increased levels of
calm, peace and tranquillity upon the mind. This is really the
opposite of fear.

This leads to another point. Really, fear is a strongly ego-based
reaction. It all has to do with what this entity, ME, is
suffering, or might suffer, in the future. However, if you
practice disassociating from the ego self, then it gets
increasingly difficult to associate with your fears. This is also
what meditation can help you to do.

Another approach is to confront your fears bit by bit. If you are
afraid of cats, can you at least look at a photo of one… even
from ten feet away? Once you are able to do that, could you
perhaps touch a piece of cat fur that someone might give you?
Once you do that, can you see a live cat… maybe on a video?
Once you can do that, could you a real live one, from maybe
thirty feet away? Then twenty? Then ten? Maybe then you could
just touch one with just one finger for a second?

And so on. This sort of approach can be used for many fears.

Another powerful method is to focus on what you WANT, and NOT on what you DON’T want. Fear tends to be a focus on what you do not want. Instead, in any situation where you feel fear, try to imagine the positive outcome, not the dreaded negative one.

What else?…

Well, there are therapies you could consider. Bach Flower remedies are considered highly useful for treating all sorts of emotional conditions, otherwise untreatable by conventional medicine. You could consult an experienced practitioner.

You could consult a counselor, whether that be a Jungian
psychologist, an astrologer or an energy healer.

At the end of the day, it’s all about dealing with unresolved energies and psychic tensions outside yourself. As you know the problem is not “out there”, but rather within yourself. There are no end of suggestions that can be made, and that would most likely help. As the saying goes… how long is a piece of string?

However, the question (and the need) is that you find something that will work well for YOU.

You know yourself. Hence, you are in the best position to select from some of the ideas I have suggested, or to select something altogether different.

Copyright 2006. Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.

About Asoka Selvarajah

Dr. Asoka Selvarajah is a writer and teacher of personal growth and spirituality, and the author of numerous books and courses. His work helps people achieve their full potential, deepen their understanding of mystical truth, and discover their soul’s purpose.Subscribe to the Aspire To Wisdom list to receive more articles and resources to your inbox.

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  1. Another really useful posting Asoka, especially about the FEAR – which I don’t really experience, but it is an excellent reminder about the ‘false expectations’. Also found the manifesting finances very timely, in my case ;>D

    Thank you!

  2. Your comments on fear are nothing but the truth.Fear is something one builds within. I would love to manifest some money into my life I need some pretty badly. Any suggestions? TQ TQ TQ

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