If you have been studying personal growth materials for any
length of time, you have probably heard it said over and over
again that the name of the game is positive thinking. In other
words, you must work to reduce and ultimately eliminate negative
thinking and emotions from your life.

Well, yes. It's a nice idea in theory, but the practical reality
is something different altogether.



Although it is definitely correct and useful to develop an
overall optimistic and positive mindset, it may NOT be helpful to
try to eliminate ALL negative thinking and emotions from your
life.

Quite simply, to try to do so is rather like trying to bail out
the ocean from a leaky lifeboat, using just a coffee mug. The
more you do it, the more there is to do, and the more hopeless
the task seems to become. From a purely human aspect of striving,
it is an almost impossible task.

Indeed, the problem with getting too hung up with the negative
aspects of ourselves is that it can be a very dispiriting
experience if you are expecting to see positive improvement, but
it never really happens, or else you end up backsliding.

Hence, too much focus upon the negative side of your personality
can be rather like trying to dig the seeds up every day to see
how they're growing. Ultimately, they won't grow at all.

Why do people have negative emotions and attitudes? Well, put
simply, it's the human condition, certainly in the unenlightened
state. This is a BIG subject and one we cannot tackle here.
Childhood experiences, genetics, influence of peers, even past
lives (!) – they probably all play a part.

However, what is for sure is that you are very unlikely to
overcome the matter in the very near future. Certainly, there are
personal development gurus who claim that you can, and even give
the impression that they have done so themselves. However, you
don't know them personally, and you are not there in every moment
to see if they really have. Maybe their spouse might tell another
story altogether!

Even the major spiritual traditions emphasize how hard it really
is to overcome the negative aspects of ourselves. Christianity
goes as far as to talk about Original Sin, i.e. that we are
actually totally helpless to effect lasting change on account of
the fact that we inherited this "sinful" condition at birth. We
need the heavenly "Salvation" that comes from above, and which is
effectively a "new birth". However, even this only comes into
effect in full force when the old body is shed off and the new
spiritual body taken on. Buddhism talks about achieving
"Enlightenment", which is an analogous concept, but which
is tied in more to liberation from ignorance, delusion, and the
shackles of the Flesh.

Hence, if you think you are going to solve ALL your personality
issues overnight by listening to a twenty minute self-hypnosis
tape, or by doing some affirmations… Well, it's unlikely to
happen.

However, that does not mean to say that personal growth is a
waste of time. You ARE supposed to accentuate the positive. Just
don't focus on any perceived lack of progress with the negative,
or get frustrated with its continued presence. Use "moving
towards" motivation, i.e. moving TOWARDS what you want, rather
than "moving away from" motivation, i.e. trying to avoid and
deny what you do NOT want.

Whatever you focus your mind upon has a tendency to grow in
power. Hence, focusing on your negativities has a tendency to
make them stronger. Focus rather upon what you wish to increase
in your life, and let the negative side of your personality find
its own place. In other words, make friends with it a bit, rather
than treat it as an enemy. Regard it rather as you would an
aching limb. You don't hate it just because it aches!

Statistics show that optimistic people actually have a lower risk
of heart disease than pessimistic people. Hence, even from a
purely pragmatic health perspective, it IS better to be positive
than negative in mental outlook! No doubt about it.

Nevertheless, total liberation from the negative side of our
personalities does not come without a total spiritual rebirth.
This is not a matter of a few months or years of toil. Maybe it
will take countless lifetimes for most people, as the Buddhists
believe to be the case.

You do well to remember the Eastern perspective of Yin and Yang
- the teaching that dark and light are inextricably interwoven
and inseparable in this cosmos. That applies within our minds
too. To try to separate one from the other, using standard
psychological tools, is a pretty hopeless task.

Only a new creation, entirely other than this world, can
ever reconciles this paradox and live in harmony with it. That is
the goal of the spiritual path. So, until then, be easy on
yourself. Celebrate every advance, but don't let any apparent
negative personality aspects get you down.

Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2005. All Rights Reserved.

I was listening to a personal development CD the other day, and
the speaker made a point that really made me stop and think.

Here is what he said…

Do you have a lot of different projects that you start but never
finish? Instead, you just start yet another new one?
Well, I do this all the time. So do many other people.

Now typically, most people almost have a strange form of pride
about this sort of thing. They may regard themselves as
"creative", or even a highly intelligent multi-tasker. After all,
Leonardo da Vinci started a huge number of projects that he never
finished!



Well, this speaker had a different point of view. He said that
every time you begin yet another project that you never finish,
you have just engaged in SELF-SABOTAGE.

Now that's a fresh perspective, don't you think? It's certainly
not the way I've been trained to think about it. Yet, as I thought
about it, and listened to his reasoning, I realized that he was
absolutely correct. It truly is. Here's why…

It has to do with the subconscious mind and the way you train it
to respond. You see, every time you leave a project unfinished,
you have just engaged in lack of integrity with yourself. You
have taught yourself that you are not a person of your word. You
cannot be taken seriously, even by yourself, and you can be
relied upon NOT to follow through. In other words, you will make
a decision, and then fail to pursue it to the finish. THAT is
what you are telling yourself over and over again. As you know,
actions speak louder than words. Hence, it's not what you say
that really matters. It's what you do that counts, especially
when your subconscious mind is looking on.

What else have you done? You have told your subconscious mind
that you are not serious. In other words, that magical part of
you, which can work behind the scenes to create seeming miracles
for you, doesn't have to bother. "Oh, you're just a talker", it
can mutter to itself. "You're not serious. So I'm not going to
bother myself". Where you could have awakened the most powerful
ally known to Man to assist you, you have instead put it to
sleep.

Worse than that, you actually teach your subconscious to work
AGAINST you when you DO try to persist in a project. Why? Since
your "norm" is not to follow through, and this is the comfort
zone you have established for yourself, your subconscious mind
will act like a thermostat and pull you back into line once you
start to stray from the norm. It is concerned primarily for your
safety, and hence any strong move away from the status quo
thereby spells "DANGER"!

Hence, even though you may have been into this kind of
perpetual multi-project madness before, it is important that you
get control over the situation. Otherwise, you are in danger
of attempting much and achieving nothing, and then wondering why.
You are self-sabotaging and you don't even know it.

This is a world full of distractions and changing landscape. Wait
in the same place for an hour and it will look different. We are
constantly being challenged to maintain our focus and to complete
what we begin. There are so many temptations to drop what we have
begun and run off after something better. People do it all the
time. It has become the watchword of our society.

Rather, take the motto, "It ain't done until it's done" to heart!
This means you don't start something else until you have finished
what you are doing. You pursue a project right to completion. You
reinforce GOOD habits to your subconscious, and you keep
agreements to yourself. You tell yourself that you are a person
who can be trusted to keep your word, and that integrity means
something to you.

This also means that "nearly done" is NOT "done". It does not
matter if you have worked at a project for 500 hours and there is
just another 3 hours of work left to finish it. If you don't put
in those 3 hours of work, it isn't done. What if aircraft
manufacturers did everything else, but failed to fit the front
wheel onto the passenger plane? Or the windscreen in the cockpit?
Or neglected to put the hinges on the emergency exit? I think you
get the point now with regards to your own projects? Remember:
"It ain't done until it's done!"

So, forget pursuing twenty dreams at once. Pursue just a few
projects, or even just ONE, and get them finished before moving
onto something else. In this way, you will pursue an upward
cycle of success and achieve one dream after another.

May it be so for you.

Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Asoka Selvarajah is a writer on personal growth and spirituality, and the author of "The 7 Golden Secrets To Knowing Your Higher Self". His work helps people achieve their full potential, deepen their understanding of mystical truth, and discover their soul's purpose. You can subscribe to his FREE ezine, and get his FREE ebook "Inner Light Outer Wealth" at:

http://www.aksworld.com/AspireToWisdom.htm?imk=Blog

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