Beyond anything else, listen to yourself. You are meant to
discover reality from inside and to direct your life in this way.
As you begin to live according to your own guidance and your own
daring, everything changes completely.
In this issue, we tackle two of the greatest challenges in daily
life; (a) the Search For Meaning, and (b) Self Esteem. In many
ways, they are curiously related and actually feed off each
other. I am quite certain that they constitute two of the major
causes of unhappiness in our modern society. Yet, few of us are
even aware that we suffer from either.
Do read the articles with an open mind and challenge yourself as
to whether these issues may have some hold in your life. I think
the experience will be most positive and rewarding in the long
run if you do.
Momentum is building in the Mystic Visions Discussion Forums. If
you have not visited yet, and even if you have, drop by and share
your thoughts or questions. That way, we will get a community
of like-minded people going. It is a moderated forum, and thus
frivolous posts do not remain for long. The quality of discussion
is quite high and you will find it rewarding to pay a visit. If
you wish to, just click:
The greatest challenge we face in our lives is the Search
for Meaning. What is life really about? What are we really here
to do?
These are big questions. Nobody can pretend to have the answers
for anyone else. As Viktor Frankl once said, it is like asking a
Chess Grandmaster what THE best move in the game of Chess is. The
answer is - it depends. It depends on the specifics of who is
playing whom, the situation on the board, and a myriad other
factors. Likewise, the answers to these questions depend upon the
person who is asking them.
Nevertheless, it's vital that you seek the specific answers for
your individual life. Without true meaning to your life, anything
you do or become is ultimately hollow and without any depth of
satisfaction. However long it takes, the answers must be found.
The esteemed psychiatrist, Dr. Viktor Frankl, founded an entire
school of psychotherapy, Logotherapy, based on this idea. Its
fundamental principle is that the many and profound psychological
problems people face in our modern world - including severe
neuroses - arise from a lack of true life meaning. The pursuit of
pleasure and the avoidance of pain are NOT the only motivators of
human activity. Rather, the Search for Meaning is vitally
important to healthy human life.
The Modern Dilemma - A Meaningless Existence
Of course, a lack of meaning is very easy to develop. We live in
an ever-growing population where competition for jobs,
life partners, wealth and social status is the norm. The sheer
multitudes of people overwhelm us and make us feel small. The
countless numbers who suffer and die in horrific wars around the
globe teach us subliminally that the value of human life is not
as high as we had hoped. The myriad ways in which we are treated
like statistics by our governments lead us to believe that we are
unimportant and don't count. Instead of developing our unique
talents to the unbelievable levels we are truly capable of, we
prefer to continually compare ourselves to others. Thus, we don't
even bother to begin the works that could bring us so much joy.
The majority of people don't know why they are alive, nor do they
trouble to give it much thought. Yet, a life without meaning is
surely unbearable in the final analysis. This is why so many
people die within a few short years of retirement. It's why the
unemployed feel dreadfully depressed and worthless. It's also
why some fabulously wealthy and famous individuals are
desperately unhappy.
The Subtle Trap of Counterfeit Meaning
The Search For Meaning is vital precisely because without it, you
fall prey to the lure of "counterfeit" meanings. If you make no
effort to discover the meaning of your individual life, you
thereby play host to an existential vacuum at the very core of
your being. You exist, but you really don't know why. Whilst
every member of the Animal Kingdom knows and fulfils its purpose
perfectly, nobody can tell you what the purpose of your own human
existence is, let alone how to perfectly fulfil it.
A vacuum is always filled. This is where the problem of
counterfeit meaning comes in. In the absence of the true meaning
and purpose of our lives, the vacuum will be filled with
something else. By doing so, you quiet that tiny voice that
entreats you to search your soul. Instead, you busy yourself with
this counterfeit meaning and expand it until it fills your life.
In this way, you need not be troubled anymore or concern yourself
with why you exist in the first place. You feel more comfortable;
at least for a while.
What are these counterfeits? They are many and varied; as various
as there are people in the world. One person creates meaning
through making the sole pursuit of Wealth a worthwhile objective.
A career is then commenced that gives little satisfaction, does
not resonate with the inner core of that individual, and leads to
unhappiness, and even neurosis. Another person fills the vacuum
with relationships, and all the consequent obligations and
responsibilities. Although the relationships may be frustrating
or even abusive, that person will move from one such cycle of
suffering to another precisely because they appear to fill the
vacuum of meaning and purpose. Yet another may convert to a
fundamentalist religion which, through representing daily life as
a war of Light against Darkness, gives instant validity, meaning
and purpose to the life of the new zealot.
In fact, almost every major project we take on could potentially
generate "counterfeit meaning" if we refuse to face the essential
questions of our basic existence FIRST. The job you worked so
hard at failed to deliver. The relationship you really believed
in broke your heart, despite your very best efforts. The major
business investment you made deflated your hopes. You are left
depressed, broken, and wondering what life is even about. In
many instances, it is less important to wonder what went wrong
with these projects, as to ask why you ever engaged in them in
the first place, and what you had hoped to achieve by doing so.
It is only when all the activities of our lives are integrated
into a Master Plan that they can hope to operate coherently and
make any overall sense. Without the existence of such a Master
Plan, our activities actually become the Master Plan itself! They
appear to give meaning to our lives but in fact do not. Instead,
they give partial meaning. They occupy our thoughts and actions.
They answer the needs of parts of our psyche at the expense of
others.
This is often the true source of self-sabotage - having goals
that do not satisfy the whole of our being at the deepest level.
When we sacrifice one part of our inner psyche's legitimate
desires for the sake of another, we create internal frustration
and even repression. This manifests in lack of internal
coherence. When every part of us is not working harmoniously to
achieve our conscious objective, and some parts may actively be
working against it, internal chaos will eventually result. Even
if we do attain the goal, it will not satisfy us.
The Quest For Meaning
What can we do? The search for authentic meaning in our lives is
a huge task, but the sooner it is begun the better. It means
truly believing that you manifested in the world for a purpose; a
purpose only you can truly achieve. You must dedicate yourself
to finding that purpose. You may have to accept that the cause
for your present sufferings and disappointments may be that
you accepted a cheap substitute - a counterfeit meaning - and
made this the primary focus of your life. It may mean unravelling
years or even decades of activity that once seemed so central to
your existence. You may need to make some big sacrifices - the
end of a relationship or a job.
Whatever it means, the creation of a Master Plan is essential.
Each of us needs to know what our life is about. Our activities
and projects then naturally emerge from that and are coherent
with it. All too often, it is the other way around. We seek
our meaning from our external activities, and then wonder why the
consequences of this strategy turns out so badly.
Ultimately, the Search for Meaning is about taking responsibility
for your life. It is about becoming a master of life rather than
a passive participant. It is about acknowledging that you are
a creator of your existence, and realizing that you are here for
a specific and unique purpose. You can then actively direct the
whole of your life to manifesting that purpose in your everyday
reality. This is where meaning comes from.
This is what happiness is all about .
Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2001. All Rights Reserved.
Resources that can help:
"Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. Truly excellent
and powerful book which has sold several million copies. Best
known for its graphic and philosophical descriptions of the Nazi
death camps.
"At A Journal Workshop" by Ira Progoff. How to use a Journal to
find the meaning and purpose of your life and of life events.
Asoka Selvarajah is a writer on personal growth and
spirituality,
and the author of "The 7 Golden Secrets To Knowing Your
Higher
Self". His work helps people achieve their full
potential, deepen their
understanding of mystical truth,
and discover their soul's purpose. Learn more about his work
Apart from being one of the best job/career change books around,
what makes "The Work We Were Born To Do" so special is that it
takes a holistic spiritual approach. Often, life transitions can
be difficult and painful. This book examines these anxieties and
shows you the way through them. It teaches you to undo your
socially and culturally conditioned attitudes to Work, and helps
you to see yourself and your potential in the widest possible
sense.
Nick Williams has identified twelve key principles for finding
the work you were born to do. With the aid of many written
exercises and examples, he teaches you these principles and opens
your mind to possibilities that you may never have considered
before. You will be taught how to identify the work that you were
born for, how to bring spirit into the workplace, how to gain a
true perspective concerning money and financial worries, how to
use your work to bring real contribution in the lives of others,
how to welcome transformation and change, ways to bring out your
true creativity, and how to experience success in the true
meaning of the word. Packed with rich insights, this is a book
you will want to read several times over as you face the
challenges of an uncertain world and overcome them on your own
terms.
Self esteem is THE major challenge of our era. It lies at the
heart of many of the diverse issues and challenges we face in
life.
In fact, it is precisely because low self esteem does not
seem to be the problem, that it is so very insidious. Many people
who suffer from low self esteem attribute their life challenges
to wholly different causes. It does not even occur to them to
relate their problems to how they regard themselves at the
deepest level. Instead, they blame their problems on a mean boss,
racial or sexual prejudice, a talent for choosing abusive love
partners and so on.
In this way, the problem is externalized. However, doing this
merely moves a person further away from the real problem, and
consequently from the solution. Thus by disguising itself as some
other more immediately visible issue, low self esteem is never
tackled and overcome. It remains to rear its ugly head again.
Whatever challenge you face, you can rest assured that
someone else has had it even worse, and yet gone on to triumph.
If so, what prevents you back from doing the same? The answer
must inevitably be - yourself. YOU are the primary force shaping
your life. If others faced similar external challenges and
triumphed, then external circumstances are NOT the primary
determiners of your life. Your attitude of mind is.
How Low Self Esteem Arises
People with NO apparent self esteem problems may still be
susceptible at a subtle level. For example, failing to shoot for
your dreams when you were young, and settling for a safe route to
an unchallenging existence, can damage how well you regard
yourself. In later life, it could manifest in short temper,
cynicism when others DO try to better themselves, and even
physical illness. However, it seems hard to pinpoint the
exact problem.
At the heart of compromises such as these is the fact that you
did not believe in yourself sufficiently. In other words, self
esteem issues, often inherited from your parents, appeared at
this early stage.
There are many causes of low self esteem. We gain our predominant
world-view by the age of five. In other words, whether you
consider the world to be a safe or dangerous place, and whether
you will react to events in a primarily positive or negative
manner, is determined by this age. Parents are the prime shapers
of our young psyches at this time. However, schools, society, and
our peers also play an important role. Our later experiences
in life merely reinforce the core impressions we gained at this
very early age.
As the role of parents is so vital, they need to be FAR
more conscious of the consequences for their child of EVERYTHING
they do, say, or even think. Moreover, this care must begin
whilst the child is still in the womb! Parents are too often far
too casual about how they bring up their children. They
unconsciously pass on their own limitations to them as a result.
Facing The Challenge Of Ourselves
What can you do to improve your self esteem? The first thing is
to understand the difference between self-esteem and self-image.
Self-image forms as a result of comparisons you make between
yourself and those around you. It is the judgement you make of
yourself - the image you have of yourself. Sadly, it is often
negative as you can usually find someone better than you at
almost everything. Self-image in turn affects self-esteem. An
easy way to understand this difference is to look at young
children. They have perfect self-esteem BECAUSE they have no
self-image. They are not continually judging themselves against
externals and falling short.
The key is NOT to work upon self-image. This is what many people
try to do. However, working on self-esteem IS the heart of
creating radical change. When you work from the inside out, how
you feel about yourself in comparison with externals must
eventually improve as well.
The key to improving your self-esteem is to take conscious
control of your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause
for creating and maintaining negative self esteem. The things you
say to yourself in your mind, as well as the meaning you
attribute to events in your life, combine to create the reality
you end up living. Most people's self-talk is roughly 95% negative.
They see the worst in themselves and in everything that happens.
Putting a stop to such self-destructive thinking is vital. It is
our thoughts and expectations that shape and produce what we
become. The quality of our lives is a direct result of them.
One excellent way to combat and overcome negative self-talk is
through using positive affirmations. The principle behind them is
that the brain cannot entertain two contradictory notions at the
same time. Eventually one of the two contradictory notions must
win out and cause the other to collapse completely. The belief
that finally wins out is the one that you invest with the most
emotional energy and constancy of thought.
Affirmations such as
"I like myself"
"I am a positive person and I create a positive life"
"I am a wonderful person of immense value who deserves to be
loved"
and others like these will do absolute wonders. Note how all good
affirmations are framed in the positive. Never frame an
affirmation in the negative, e.g. "I am NOT a negative person".
The subconscious literally cannot see the word "not" and will
therefore interpret and act upon the affirmation as if you said
"I AM a negative person"!
Create a series of affirmations like this and resolve to use them
throughout the day. You can write one or more of them out ten,
twenty or more times a day. You should also take every
opportunity to say them out loud to yourself. Always do so with
enthusiasm and gusto; really feeling the positive emotions
surging through your body. This is the true key to making
affirmations work in improving self esteem. Putting all your
emotional energy behind them gives the affirmations the power to
destroy negative self-talk and low self esteem.
An extremely powerful way to use affirmations is to record
yourself speaking them quietly onto a tape, perhaps with some
soothing background music that you like. Then you can play this
tape quietly in the background at every opportunity. You have
effectively created your own subliminal tape! Try playing this to
yourself when you sleep at night, using an auto-reverse walkman.
The results in your life will be truly tremendous.
Recognition Of The Problem Is Halfway To The Solution
There are many effective ways to remedy low self esteem. However,
the key to success in life is to recognize the existence of the
problem in the first place! Therefore, consider where self esteem
issues may be lurking in your life, but manifesting as apparently
external problems. The key attitude for success in life is to
take total responsibility for what happens to us. We must work
upon ourselves continually in order to manifest what we want.
Creating high self esteem is one of the best things you can ever
do to totally transform every aspect of your life.
Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.
"You Can Manifest Your Desires FAST!
FREE7-Day
Course Reveals..."
How To get rich, happy, and attract anything you want into your
life. Secret technique known only by the world's elite few.
Magnetize your desires, attract your dreams, create a life of
happiness, success and luxury. Join the FREE 7-Day Course NOW! http://www.aksworld.com/Resources/RobertAnthony.htm
"How To Quickly & Easily Achieve Abundance & Power In Your Life!"
Starting today, you can create the life you've always
wanted. Discover how to use your own subconscious energies
for health, prosperity and personal achievement!
but their laughter turned to stunned silence when I made 16
million dollars. Discover how you too can use these simple
secrets to escape wage slavery & debt forever, and easily
generate the spare cash to live as you've always dreamed.
"Dream-Minder Helps You Break The Success Barrier NOW."
With Dream-Minder, you set goals, determine your life values,
record your achievements, and regularly review what really
matters to you. Life transformation is just one step away...
Find out more: http://www.aksworld.com/Resources/Dreams.htm
Disclaimers
Although Aspire To Wisdom is interested in presenting
you with advertisements for quality products and
services, Aspire To Wisdom cannot spend the time to do
the due diligence it takes to ensure that only reliable
services and products are advertised with us.
So you should understand that Aspire To Wisdom does not
represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any
of the advertisements in our newsletter or the
quality of any products, information or other
materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you
as a result of an offer in connection with any
advertisement.
Aspire To Wisdom encourages you to do your due
diligence before purchasing any product, whether it is
offered here or anywhere else for that matter, before
purchasing. Please use your judgment and carefully
check out those products that interest you.
We accept no
responsibility whatsoever for the content, profitability
or legality of any published articles or advertisements
contained within Aspire To Wisdom.
And, although all of the articles have been chosen for
their content, the publishing of such articles within
this newsletter does NOT constitute a recommendation of
the products or services mentioned or advertised within
those articles.
Be responsible! Always do your Due Diligence before
responding to any offer.
