Of the desires expressed the one which is most right is the
desire to be 'master of oneself', because without this nothing
else is possible.
G. I. Gurdjieff
I am going to a new format with this ezine, and I am not quite
sure what the future direction will finally be. Instead of coming
out once a month and having two articles, it will come out twice
a month and have one article. That means you get to hear from me
more often and not have such an enormous amount to ingest each
time.
In addition, I also plan to send you several shorter messages
during the month, just to keep in touch. It might be interesting
quotes, or a brief article, or even just keeping you alert of the
most interesting posts on the discussion board.
I really should do a "Blog", as these are all the rage these days
(if you don't know, a blog is a sort of online journal that
anyone can access). Maybe I will, once I get a moment to organize
this and check out the software etc.
But for now, I want to go to this more open format, which I hope
you will like. It will also prevent the ezine coming out on the
LAST day of the month (a historical accident, in case you ever
noticed, because I started my very first issue three years ago on
the last day of August and somehow never got around to shifting
the time schedule!). Instead, it will come out in the middle and
end of each month.
I thought I was going to write a short article for today, but
instead have written a major rant about something I see all the
time. I hope you find it useful and applicable; either for
yourself, or to help someone else.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this issue and, as ever, welcome
your feedback on the discussion forum at:
I was just talking to a friend of mine on the telephone. She is
doing a job she is not very happy with, and wishes she could be
doing something else. The only problem is that she is not doing
anything about it whatsoever! In fact, we have been having this
conversation on and off for more than five years. She keeps
telling me how much worse the place is getting, but strangely
enough, she does nothing to improve her lot.
As before, I was encouraging her (more like torturing her, on
this occasion!) to actually get off her backside and DO
something. But then, I've been telling her that for years and
nothing has changed. So it's odds on that nothing will change
this time either.
Many people are like that. They keep meaning to do better, but
somehow get caught up in the daily mincer instead. After a while,
their pain becomes bearable, but only because they have become
numb to it. They tell themselves it's not so bad after all. Worse
still, maybe they even tell themselves that they are incapable of
anything better.
That is what a negative environment can do to you. It can numb
and deaden you to your own infinite capacities. It can kill your
self-belief.
The strange thing is that most people know how to do better than
they are actually doing. So why don't they do it? There are
several reasons:
(1) Lack Of Self-Belief.
Deep down, even if you want to make a change, you may not feel
that you are actually capable of it. You may feel that you lack
the education, or the intelligence, or you're too old, or
whatever. At the heart of it all, you don't believe you can
actually do it. You don't believe the universe is friendly to
your aspirations. You believe it is an enemy. You don't believe
that if you step out and risk falling, you will be supported. You
believe that if you do, you will crash and burn, be humiliated,
irreparably damaged and even laughed at.
None of the latter is necessarily true. It's just a BELIEF!
But what if you could be projected forward two years? What if you
could see the result of actually starting on that dream of yours?
What if you saw it succeeding? What if this outcome was totally
CERTAIN?
In other words, what would you do today if you KNEW you
absolutely could not fail? I would be willing to bet you would
start immediately! Why waste time in a boring dead-end job if you
KNEW that something better would unfold if you would only get
started?
So, you see, the only reason you don't even start, and instead
come up with all sorts of excuses for why you'll do it at some
unspecified time later, is because deep down you're sure nothing
will ever come of it. It will all be too much wasted effort. So,
you do nothing and just hope and wish instead (which is safer).
It's like the guy who prayed faithfully to God every night to win
millions on the lottery. But nothing happened. One night, the
clouds opened and God appeared. He said to the man, "My son.
Could you meet me halfway on this? Would you buy a lottery
ticket?..."
You see, unless YOU actually DO something, nothing is ever going
to change! Just sitting on your backside and expecting the
universe to act on your behalf, when you have done NOTHING to
manifest what you desire, is like the man asking to win the
lottery without ever having bought a ticket in the first place.
(2) Fear Of Failure.
Our society teaches us, from our very earliest years, that we
must be "right" in everything we do. It's NOT okay to make
mistakes (compare this to Microsoft's attitude where employees
are actually rewarded for trying out new things that fail).
Sadly, fear of failure leads to an even worse failure; the
failure to actually do anything worthwhile. All successful people
know that they can only make rapid success through many mistakes
and failures. In fact, highly successful people make more
mistakes than mediocrities. At least one junior executive has
been told by his CEO that if he wished to make rapid success in
the company, he must double his FAILURE rate, i.e., the number of
mistakes he makes! Trying to never fail is like trying to breath
in without ever breathing out. It's not natural and it's
impossible.
Most of us were brought up differently. We think that failure
makes us look bad. What would our friends or relatives think? In
Britain, it used to be considered a somewhat shameful thing to be
seen to be even trying. These days, things have happily changed
in that respect, probably influenced by the USA, where trying is
OK.
You need to know that failure and mistakes are a normal process
of growth. If you had not made tens of thousands of mistakes in
learning to walk, you would still be crawling. Can you speak?
It's because you made literally thousands of errors learning to
do so. Imagine preferring to remain in silence all your life!
If that seems to strange, then surely it must be even stranger
that people will not lift a finger to help themselves, especially
when the effort required, and the complexity of the task that
lies ahead, is relatively TRIVIAL by comparison!
(3) Fear Of Success
Strangely enough, some people actually are afraid of succeeding.
After all, success would bring change, and a lot of people fear
change. You may lose old friends (while acquiring new ones). You
might have to change your daily habits, pay more tax, relocate,
talk to the Press. Who knows what might happen?
Many people prefer their rut to anything that success might bring
if they followed their dream. In other words, their self-image
has shrunk to fit their sad surroundings and it cannot conceive
of anything larger. Anything bigger than this must, by
definition, be dangerous, and so the subconscious acts, as it is
trained to do, to keep you away from harm.
Of course, people can suffer from a combination of these factors,
or even all of them at the same time. Yet, the key to change is
so simple and the rewards so great, if you would only begin
seriously to take action.
Here are the key steps:
(1) Dream your future life. This means fantasize what you want to
bring into your life. Make mental movies and play them in your
mind over and over again, seeing yourself living your dream life.
Make a written description of this and work daily to improve and
enhance that description. You need to be CLEAR on what you want
if you ever wish to manifest it. Begin to live your future NOW.
(2) Through regular use of affirmations and visualization,
gradually change, improve and expand your self-image. Without a
healthy self-image, you cannot achieve anything more. Your outer
life is an exact reflection of your inner self-image, whether you
like it or not. This step takes work, but it is necessary.
(3) Research your dream and begin work upon it. In other words,
take ACTION! Do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to
achieve your dream life.
I have a thing about freebie seekers. They're always trying to
get stuff for nothing, especially on the internet. But you know
what they say: you get what you pay for in life.
However, people who think Success are not like this. They
actually invest in themselves - books, courses, seminars. The
more successful they are, the more they invest in this stuff.
Moreover, don't think they do this because they have the cash.
Most of them started this process when they were BROKE!
Mediocrities, by comparison, don't invest ONE CENT in themselves.
Ever. And that is exactly why they stay mediocrities.
If some book of course costs you 20, 70 or even 100 dollars or
more,
so what? It's only money. Money can be earned. Time cannot. Time
is all you ever really have to spend, so you should invest it
wisely and not waste it. If you are old and close to death, all
the money in the world will not buy you more time. That's what
money is worth. Not much, in the long run.
So, why not spend it NOW to (a) learn what you need to learn to
(b) live the life of joy you seek (if you are not already living
it)? Why prefer to live NOW in a hell of your own making (albeit
through inaction), just to save a few lousy bucks?! The majority
will not risk ONE CENT on their self education, in order to begin
the process of life change (my friend included, who actually has
a relatively high paying job, thereby dispelling the idea that
only poor people refuse to invest ONE CENT in their own self
education). It is ludicrous when you stop to think about it.
Who are you short-changing if you do this? Yourself. Nobody else.
For whom does nothing change or improve? YOU! Education is the
key to manifesting life change, and it does not (or rather,
should not) end at school! Hence, do not skimp on it. Pay
the price - both in money and in study time.
I harp on about this, because it seems to be a key barrier
preventing many people making enormous strides in their lives.
Most people spend more time and money planning their summer
holidays than they do planning and investing in their entire
lives. Sad, but true. Determine not to be like this. Consider
yourself WORTH spending money and time upon in order to
self-educate yourself to be capable of achieving what you dream
of. And if you waste some of either on the way, that's OKAY.
Remember, it's OKAY to make mistakes. Right?...
In summary, if you find yourself in a place in life you don't
like, and seem to be forever procrastinating on making a change,
examine whether the three factors outlined above are secretly
controlling your life. Determine ABSOLUTELY to make a
breakthrough. Then use the blueprint given above to make the
changes you need to make to take you where you want to go, AND
away from where you don't want to be.
Do it today. Not tomorrow, but today. Why? Because tomorrow is
just another today. If you don't start today, tomorrow will come
and it will be today. And you will probably say the same thing
then too. Tomorrow is just today, one day later.
So kick out the mental crutches , and start TODAY!
Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2004. All Rights Reserved.
Asoka Selvarajah is a writer on personal growth and
spirituality,
and the author of "The 7 Golden Secrets To Knowing Your
Higher
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potential, deepen their
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