Law Of Attraction: What You Resist Persists

by Asoka Selvarajah on September 1, 2010


Here is an interesting variation on the Law Of Attraction. That which you resist persists. This is a fairly well known principle in personal development theory but may not be that well known to the general public.





It is actually a variation on the Law Of Attraction because what you are resisting, you are putting energy into in order to resist it; via your thoughts, your emotions and feelings, and through the strategies you devise in order to resist or avoid. The Law Of Attraction principle is that what you put your attention and energy upon with emotion, you will tend to get more of in your life.

Hence, far from getting rid of what you resist, it tends to only become stronger. We see this well illustrated in international events, with the so-called “War On Terror”, where terrorism has only increased since this total failure of a project was instigated. It is like a many-headed Hydra; cut of one head and ten others spring up in its place. The same is true on the other failure project we call the “War On Drugs”.

Of course, the same is true also in our own lives. When you put your attention on what you do NOT want, it will tend to grow bigger. This may seem to be a paradox but it is actually the case.

I am reading a book called Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life that focuses on this principle and other related principles. One teaching it mentions is that if you have habits or tendencies that are hard to get rid of, merely working to get rid of them is usually ineffective because you are putting energy INTO what you do NOT want, as we have just been discussing. Hence, rather than go away, these things we dislike actually persist and get stronger.

Instead, and as the Law Of Attraction and even straightforward goal-setting principles teach, you should focus on what you do want and give the energy to that. When negative behaviors or tendencies crop up, rather than resist them, you give them no energy but instead simply observe them as an anthropologist would observe a recently unknown tribe of jungle dwellers. Just watch and observe moindfully what gives rise to this situation. By giving no energy to the problem, it should eventually resolve itself once its time has passed. Rather, the energy should be fed to things that you DO want in your life, as these will then tend to grow and multiply instead.

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Do What You Love? And What?….

by Asoka Selvarajah on August 31, 2010

I just finished reading that famous book about work, vocation, and career called Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow by Marsha Sineta for the second time (I first read it over ten years ago). Sadly, I have to say that I was not very impressed this time around.

I can’t help but think that it should have been titled Do What You Love, The Money Doesn’t Matter because that is basically the attitude that  seems to be taken throughout the book! Although most people almost certainly buy this book for the title, because it fulfills a long-cherished dream, i.e. to do what they love AND the money will follow, the author shows little or no interest in the second part of the formula. Indeed, precisely how or why the money will follow is never explained. It’s just a statement of faith.

Moreover, throughout the book the author is at pains to stress the value of choosing what you think you “love” in that moment over and above any money you be making at the time. Hence, there is this constant parade of examples of individuals who gave up well-paying professional jobs where they were financially secure but dissatisfied in order to do what they love, and thereby took massive drops in income as a result. It sometimes took them years to reach a position of financial stability, if indeed they ever did.

We see no examples of the reverse happening; people living in the countryside deciding to go off and work for a professional firm in the City because they dream of the hustle and bustle of professional life; people working as farmers or librarians who went to college for years to study for an MBA in order to become an Investment Banker because Finance had always been their secret passion. The movement is assumed to be one-way; from high-paying professional roles to low–paying artistic, creative or “higher integrity” roles.

I read a self-help book recently where it was mentioned that one such female author had written a book of this nature, but that she clearly despised money in all its forms. Although I do not know for sure, I cannot help but think that he might have been referring to this book.

Don’t get me wrong. I would be the first to tell someone to find what they love and pursue that with all their heart. Indeed, I am convinced that if someone truly hates their job or workplace, the best thing that he/she could do for himself and everyone else would be to quit immediately, if that was financially viable. That way, you open yourself up to new possibilities and are better able to grasp them once you are away from a negative situation. Hence, I agree with a lot of this philosophy.

However, for “the money to follow”, there has to be a way for this to happen, otherwise you are all to easily setting a new trap for yourself whereby you start something up with great hope and high expectations and then find yourself bitterly disappointed –  and broke too –   some time later.

Now, there are many wise and true things mentioned in the “Do what you love…” part of this book and I found those to be excellent reminders of things I need to remember. So I commend the book in that respect.

However, as with all too many people who focus on the spiritual, the author’s notion that money is not important or does not really count is what lets things down. Actually, when seen in the light of the author’s own inclinations, even the title itself invites a question mark; why should the money follow? Why does it have to be second, or even secondary? Why can’t it come right away?

I knew a lot of people when I was in Investment Banking who were very rich and absolutely loved what they did. In fact, those who were best at it probably loved doing it the most, and that’s why they could work the long hours without complaint. I am sure that the same is true of most professions. So again, the notion that there is necessarily a disconnect between doing what you love and money is a false one. Choose the right thing to be passionate about and you can have both at the same time!

Nowadays, with the internet, there are SO many opportunities to do really well by starting an online business around your passion in life. You could do this while still doing your day job and use the latter to help fund the former until you are ready to quit and commit to your new business full-time. There are so many ways to play these scenarios out now that doing what you love can be done simultaneously with doing what you don’t love so much, AND the money can keep coming in the whole time!

There is a book I prefer, which I have also read twice, called The Work We Were Born To Do: Find the Work You Love Love the Work You do‘ target=_blank>The Work We Were Born To Do by Nick Williams, which is much more comprehensive in its coverage of this subject. Apart from being a much more honest title, especially after you have actually read the contents, it is more wide-ranging in its discussion.

Ultimately, “doing what we love” might itself prove to be a pipe dream because the big question is, do we really KNOW what we love? Even if we do, will this stay the constant focus of our lives as we pursue it, or will we find that we don’t love it so much once we get to do it for real?

Catchy titles that sell books are all very nice, but they don’t necessarily translate into reality, especially when there is no plan outlined within for this to happen. What counts in the long-term is what we feel called to do, what contribution we are making to the lives of others and to the world as a whole, and how our work fulfills us spiritually and in every other way.

This might mean that we take a leap of faith regarding the money, or it might mean that we create a more practical plan. Either way, we act from a position of being real and authentic with ourselves, not creating false dichotomies between “what we love” and “money” or anything else, or buying into formulas that sound good but might lead to only tears…. and bills we can’t pay.

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Tony Robbins Firewalk – Unleash The Power Within (UPW) Seminar

August 26, 2010

It was Firewalk time at the Tony Robbins Unleash The Power Within seminar in Rome 2009. And as I listened to Robbins giving us all the instructions for how to do the Firewalk, I must admit I felt a trifle nervous. Doubtless, most all of the 6,000 people assembled that night at the seminar at Fiera di Roma felt much the same.

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Tony Robbins Seminar – Life Changing?

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Tony Robbins seminars have a reputation for being exciting, life-transforming, engaging, and something that every person who is interested in his/her personal development must experience at least once. However, is this all hype or can a Tony Robbins seminar really make a significant difference to the result you experience in your life? The fact is [...]

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Attention & Focus: The Keys To Success Or Failure In Your Life

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One thing that is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve in our modern world is focusing on what really matters to us in life and making consistent progress towards it. Multi-tasking seems to rule the day and appears ever more indispensable as the complexity of our lives increases.

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Is There Really A Science Of Getting Rich?

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Law Of Attraction Doesn't Work!

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That’s what I keep hearing. People keep saying, they tried the Law  Of Attraction. But for one reason or another, they couldn’t make it work for them. That’s rather strange on the face of it. After all, what could be simpler than (1) Ask (2) Believe (3) Receive? Well, sadly life is never that easy. [...]

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Self Motivation: Pushing Through Despite Discouragement

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The Buddha Says…

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Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not [...]

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Carrying Meditation Throughout The Day

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Image via Wikipedia In Buddhist teachings, there is a critically important concept called Mindfulness. Put simply, it means that we carry a meditative state of awareness throughout our day, not simply when we are sitting (or walking) in meditation. Thus, the whole of our day and consequently our lives becomes a meditative act. It is [...]

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