The Key Attitude For Success

by Asoka Selvarajah on February 6, 2014

There is one key factor that can do more to guarantee your success in life than anything else. Conversely, the absence of that factor will be a sure guarantee of a life of failure and almost continual disappointment. That key factor is responsibility.

It sounds like something your mother told you when she was giving you a smack! Well, she may not have been that far off the mark….

However, responsibility in its widest sense is extremely positive. It means that YOU, and nobody else, has control of your life. If you have control, then you can change things. You have the power. It is not in somebody else’s hands – your wife, the government, your parents, your boss, your accountant, the stars…

Responsibility is not a popular doctrine. Instead, the world is full of people who give away their power to others by refusing to accept responsibility in their lives. They make excuses and find someone else to blame for their misfortunes or failed dreams.

They can give you an endless stream of reasons for why they failed to complete what they first began or, worse still, never began in the first place. Indeed, our society seems to be set up to cater for this sort of attitude. People can grow up and live an entire adult life without once learning this vital lesson so imperative to their happiness.

The sad thing about this attitude is that whilst it seems to serve us well, it really does not. You may certainly get a sympathetic ear for a while. People may even agree that you’re quite right. However, in refusing to own your part in events, you give away your power. To whom? Everyone and everything outside of you. If YOU are not responsible for the various events in your life, then who is? Answer: other people, enemies, random forces of nature, the stars, fate or anything else you care to name.

If this is true, then there is logically nothing you can do to improve your situation. You are only going to get slapped down every time you try to achieve anything worthwhile. So why bother? Sadly, that is usually how people who take no responsibility for their own lives end up thinking.

The result for people who think this way is that they soon end up with “learned helplessness” and are rendered incapable of striving for any worthwhile goal. They lose the capacity to believe in themselves. Thus, they lose the vital capacity of persistence towards a worthy goal. The first stiff breeze easily blows them against the rocks. And then they point to their latest disappointment and say, “You see? I told you!”

It’s a vicious circle. However the circle is easily broken. The solution is to take responsibility for everything that takes place in your life. Even if you cannot see how you possibly could be responsible, it is still a far more powerful approach to own responsibility than to deny it. Also, from a wider spirit-centered view of our universe, there are many more levels to existence than merely the physical. Hence there are more ways in which we may actually BE responsible for events without our own limited consciousness knowing about it.

You may be very willing to own responsibility when things turn out as you planned. However, most people look beyond themselves for someone else to share the credit when things go wrong! The attitude of people who master life is to be responsible for ALL that happens. In doing so, they awaken to the fact that they are creators of their destiny; not merely leaves being tossed in the wind.

Here’s an example from my own experience. I once employed a solicitor to do some legal work for me. In fact, I had wanted to use someone else who specialized in this area. However, when I told my current solicitor, he insisted he could do the job just as well and beat the quoted price drastically. So he got the job. Result? It was a disaster. He was every bit as lacking in expertise as I had originally suspected. In total, it cost me two months in wasted time and also a fair amount of money.

Whose responsibility was this? Many would blame the solicitor. After all, he was incompetent. No doubt about it.

However, the responsibility is actually mine. The choice was 100% mine. I could have used someone else from the start. Or, as things began to go wrong, I could have terminated the relationship earlier. I did not properly inform myself to start with, or I second-guessed my initial instinct. By taking responsibility for this, by seeing the sequence of MY choices that led to this situation, I assert my own power to cause results and make the correct decision the next time. By refusing to do so, I give the power away to the person I hired. So it could happen again. It is obvious which is the better strategy for life!

Whenever something happens in your life, for good or ill, tell yourself, “I am responsible.” Then ask yourself, “How am I going to handle this?” However bad a situation may be, if you repeat to yourself as an affirmation, “I am responsible”, then you begin to look to yourself for the way out instead of to external forces. In truth, you are looking in the right direction. You are the true manifestor of your own destiny.

This is the way to take control of your life instead of leaving it in the hands of blind forces. It may sound hard or callous at times. However, it is not. You are not saying, “It’s all my fault.” Rather, you are saying, “I have the power to affect my life – for good or ill – and I choose to consciously exercise that power and take responsibility for whatever consequences I attract.” How much better than blaming the stars, or your boss!

Once you take responsibility for everything that happens, you build a firm foundation upon which to build your long-term success. Leave the excuses for someone else. Set your face firmly in the direction of excellence. Take responsibility Friend!

Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2014. All Rights Reserved.

Note: This article is one among many on spiritual and personal development that you can find in my book, Aspire To Wisdom.




The Secret Of The Masters – Yours!

by Asoka Selvarajah on February 5, 2014

“It is only in the depths of silence that the voice of God can be heard.”

Sai Baba

It was Aleister Crowley who made a profound observation that I have always remembered from the time I first read it. He pointed out that there is one – and only one thing – in common in the lives of Jesus Christ, the Buddha, Mohammed, Moses and other great spiritual teachers. Apart from this, their lives and teachings were totally different. So too were the people they preached to and the message they taught. However, there is one unique experience that they all shared in exactly the same way.

Think for a moment what it might be. It’s not an easy question……

I won’t keep you in suspense. Crowley points out that all of these founders of world faiths, without exception, retreated into a wilderness prior to receiving and delivering their great revelation to the world. Jesus was baptised by John and promptly disappeared into the desert for forty days and forty nights. The Buddha escaped from the samsaric slumber of the royal palace in which he was born, and went to meditate under a bodhi tree for many years before enlightenment came. Alone, Moses disappeared to the top of Mount Sinai and received the ten commandments, and more, from the burning bush of God. The Prophet Mohammed spent much time in a lonely cave at night in the hills outside Mecca before he received the Koran from the Angel Gabriel.

Silence. Retreat. A Wilderness experience. Communing deeply within. This is the X factor. It can truly be said that prior to this inner retreat, there was actually nothing spiritually distinctive about these people at all. Virgin birth apart, the life of Jesus prior to this isolation is hardly even discussed in the Gospels. The Buddha was one of many Indian princes. You couldn’t have picked Mohammed out in a crowd. And Moses, though an accomplished magician at the time, and leader of a nation of homeless and hungries, still had his best days very much ahead of him.

When they returned from the place of silence and solitude, they came with FIRE! The flames of that fire spread with unquenchable force. It set light to the world. The truth they revealed differed very markedly, according to their own times, as well as the history and traditions of the people they taught. But it was new. It was powerful. It came from a place where most of us never go. It was divine revelation.

Perhaps none of us will start a major world faith or would even wish to. Yet, the power these spiritual masters tapped is available to us all. In fact, they are the first to say this. This power can transform our personal and spiritual development. It is the power to break the boundaries of our own limitations and ego consciousness.

Now, from this dramatic comparison of the lives of the Spiritual Masters, we have a strong hint of how to get there ourselves. It is through silence, withdrawal and inner stillness. It is only by BEING, i.e. willing to spend time with ourselves, to conduct our own retreats. This is how we can truly break through the barriers and blocks that prevent us from realizing who we really are and what our life destiny is.

If you need any more persuading, consider the following from some of the greatest minds that have ever been:

“All of Man’s problems stem from his inability to sit quietly with himself”


“You can’t teach anybody anything, only make them realize the answers are already inside them”


“When you go into the space of nothingness, everything becomes known”


“You can never learn anything that you did not already know”


“The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.”

Jesus Christ

An old story relates that the Gods debated as to where to hide their wealth of wisdom and spiritual power. They finally settled on hiding it deep within Man himself. They knew he would look for it everywhere across the planet except there!

Thus, if you wish to make progress in anything – spiritual, material, or even financial – the place to start is to go within. This is where the Inner Genius lies, the Higher Self, the Power of God. Spend time with yourself in contemplation. Wait upon that inner voice. Do not bring your preconceptions with you. Allow what comes to be virgin-born.

How different this teaching is to that of the world; even of the spiritual authorities. The Church will tell you that spiritual growth comes through regular attendance, good works, holy communion and other outward forms. The business world will tell you to attend more seminars, read up on presentation techniques, and jump onto the latest trend.

However, the wise person knows that inner victory must always precede outer. There are no shortcuts. This way of silence is tougher. It takes time and patience. It is out of sorts with the ways of the world, which is precisely its power. You may not even know how to begin or what to expect. Just begin. Schedule regular time for it. All questions will be answered in time. By You!

It is the way the Masters have walked. It is the way they recommend. Practice it yourself Friend. Begin today.

Copyright Asoka Selvarajah 2014. All Rights Reserved.

Note: This article is one among many on spiritual and personal development that you can find in my book, Aspire To Wisdom.

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